How would you describe the average person addicted to pornography? White or Black. Male or female? White Collar or Blue? Research that has been released in the last decade shows that pornography addiction cuts across all of these demographics but there is a section that is growing. The portion of society that is seeing an increase in pornography addictions is the middle class, white collar workers whose professions bring them into constant contact with the internet.
Doctors, Managers, and even company directors use pornography to escape the stresses and strains of the corporate grind. Studies also have shown that recently retired professionals are becoming addicted to internet pornography because they simply have nothing to do. This sudden surge in the middle class becoming addicted to pornography raises the obvious question of why?
Dr. Heather Wood is a consultant psychotherapist at the Portman Clinic in North London. In her research she has found that pornography itself has changed because of the Internet.
“It accelerates people’s levels of excitement and engagement with pornography. People imagine there are no witnesses. ‘All the normal shame which might deter someone from buying a magazine or going to a sex shop is not there. These controls are removed. And because others view the same sites, it feels normal.”
Dr. Paula Hall is a sexual psychotherapist in the same group and she observed that:
“’In the majority of cases men will choose porn over their partner.
They will withdraw from the family, give up their hobbies. Many don’t get enough sleep because they are up until three, four or five in the morning on the computer.
‘It’s not about sex. A man doesn’t need to look at pornography for six or seven hours if he just wants sexual gratification. It’s about escapism. It’s a secret world they can disappear into, as many addictions are.It’s mesmerizing.
It’s like escapism. It’s otherworldly. It’s like a quick fix from all the trials and tribulations of life. But it’s easy for the sexual diversion to become an escape mechanism. It numbs you in the same way that a drug numbs your emotions.”
What to Do Instead?
It’s not a matter of if we will experience stress and trauma it’s a matter of when. So the questions remain, “What will you do to manage the stress without turning to pornography?” It’s going to be different for everyone but here are few ideas some of the men that have gone through our program do to deal with stress.
Take up a sport
Just make sure it’s something that you can do and not injure yourself!
Take up a hobby
We all need healthy hobbies to occupy our time when we are not at work. You can learn how to cook, play an instrument, or learn some new computer programing, anything that you enjoy.
One of the best ways to overcome a personal struggle is to look outside yourself and find someone who needs your help. It’s not going to be easy but it will be worth it
Remember, no matter how bad things may seem there is always hope. You never had to go through pornography addiction alone so make sure you reach out and get the help you need to move on with your life.